The Crimson Cat

  He was everything she could ask for. The true yin to her yang. He was not the fire that would burn her passion or her soul. He was not the wild horse that she would tame. He was not the hunter that would hunt her down. He was this mildly scented stream in the woods that flowed peacefully through seasoned, leveled grounds. Slow, joyous, calm, and familiar, with the power to heal just by being around with countless caresses and deep, deliberate, wet kisses. He was everything she could ask for.. She felt respected and cared for. He lived in a universe diametrically opposite to hers and that helped. There were no wildfires or passionate episodes and resulting bloodshed. But there was so much unexplored, so much to learn, so much to ease into and let grow on each other, like those vines on the walls of the house outside her window. But…… But she felt trapped in a bubble. She felt alienated from him, them and all the beauty. She felt lonely. She felt sad. May be, it was the pills...

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall “You are mediocre, average and a big disappointment . No wonder you ended up this way ”  said her father, shattering her heart yet again. It had been a statement she was used to by now; having been the essence of every interaction she’d  had with her father through her growing up years. She belonged to a family of educationists; one that bred scholarly doctors, teachers, social activists and important people that manned important positions in important places that mattered to the majority. Excellence was ‘expected’ to be a part of her DNA.  The pressure to always be first was injected into her life goals schema during her vulnerable adolescence.” Nobody remembers the 2 nd  man who stepped on the Moon. It is 1 st  or nothing” , preached one of the elderly family members.  Constant reminders of the importance of being first in every stage of life (starting from class tests to sports and cultural activities and everyt...

Originally dated: 8 January, 2016 I have been busy mastering the act of procrastination. I had the best excuse to cling on to – I am a single mom. I mother a hyper active 2 year old. Lethargy and procrastination have long been my friends. How did I find these few minutes to write this down? Well, that’s the whole point. Just as I was beginning to believe that we (the momma-daughter duo) had hit saturation point of doing things in a day, she fell sick, very sick. A normal day in a (single, working) mother’s life is on auto pilot mode. Wake up, boil milk, respond to the morning cuddles or tantrums depending on which side of the bed you got off, play various versions of peek-a-boo, balancing a glass of milk or / and a plate of biscuits or / and a bowl of massage oil or / and a diaper or / and anything at all that would shorten the lifespan of the foreplay. The ONLY objective of a working mother on a week day morning, is to wrap up the games...

Foreword:  My story is no different from that of a lot of people out there. It is not as special as I think it is. This is a page from my journal. I hope at least one woman going through a similar phase reads this and finds solace. “Hello You! I understand your struggle. I understand your pain. This too shall pass and you will rise again”. Returning from a stressful workday with a terrible headache that put death to shame I realized there was no reason to hurry to get back home. It was anyway just an empty space that drank the last few drops of my passion and hope. There was no little D to welcome me with an endless tight hug; there was no Amma (mom) to apprise me of each minute of the day I missed. This place was a scary skeleton of what I had imagined my new home would be. I kicked my shoes off, dropped the bag right in the middle of the room, and threw myself on the bed with a sinking heart. This had become me. This is it-this is what ‘rock bottom’ would feel like. There is no ...

Stability — what does it mean to you? A job with the least risk of getting fired, a family/partner who doesn’t show signs of leaving you, a fixed income every month that helps you pay your bills, a promotion at work every 2 years, and an increased income linked to it, a home, a car, an annual vacation with your loved ones, a rough idea about how you will spend the next 5–10 years of your life…one, a combination or all of the above? I was unemployed for over a year prior to which I had jumped 4 mainstream corporate jobs in 6 years. Many successful corporate leaders predicted that I was heading toward collateral damage in my professional life. I always got bored with jobs easily. I was seeking fulfillment in every professional role that came my way, but the strings attached to corporate work, alias work politics, the huge amount of pretension that had to be sprinkled in every walk of work life, the idea of being innovative and available 365 days in a year to ensure a spot in your manag...

And then he began to dance. He had waited long enough; he had suffered and survived dry, barren days. He had taken on the blinding heat with grace and poise. Yes, he had waited enough for this dance. A dance that felt like the first kiss, a dance that was contagious enough to make those butterflies in the stomach catch on with his adrenaline filled moves. A dance to celebrate, to feel, to seek and to find. He had waited long enough.. Monochromatic earth spread in all directions around him; shades of brown were all he had seen in the last few months. There was dryness everywhere and it spread like an epidemic conquering lands and living beings. Amidst all the burnt earth stood a golden shower tree in full bloom, like a warrior who had won over all miseries nature threw at it. How can something so beautiful be created for a season such as this - he wondered. Do these yellow bouquets symbolize prosperity for real or is the heat making me hallucinate?  The freshness seemed t...